Couple’s Counseling

I love working with all couples. While every relationship has its own culture and unique dynamics, it’s been my experience that most couples fight about these four basic issues: sex, money, parenting, and communication.

Sometimes, what feels like a big problem can be surprisingly simple to resolve, with a little help from an objective observer. In my experience, as long as you’re both on board and committed to making an effort, any two people can make a relationship work.

“Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”

―Brené Brown

There are a lot of myths surrounding couples counseling that I would like to dispel. Here is a little bit more information about what couples counseling is like with me:

 

  1. IT’S NOT WEIRD.  Rest assured, I’m not going to make you do anything weird or awkward that will embarrass either of you. My style is practical, direct, and solution-focused. We will address the current and past issues, and, using non-blaming language, come up with strategies to enhance communication and get you both feeling better and more connected.
  2. SOONER IS BETTER THAN LATER. If possible, do not wait until you have reached the point of no return and are using counseling as a last resort before divorce or breakup. Come to counseling at the first sign of a problem, so we can solve it before it boils over into a crisis. Once you are in crisis mode and you come into my office with years of resentment built up, it’s a lot harder to repair the relationship.
  3. I AM NOT A MAGICIAN. I cannot solve your problems with the wave of a magic wand, so if you already know you don’t want to be in the relationship, or you don’t want to do any hard work, or you think everything is your partner’s fault, you might want to save yourself a lot of money and time and not come to counseling. Regardless of who has done what, it takes two to co-create a dysfunctional relationship, so you’ll both be expected to take responsibility for your respective contributions.